3 Truths for Ascending Leaders
Imagine two young, up-and-coming leaders. Both are on upper management’s radar. Both are top performers with high ceilings. Both are driven. Both are natural influencers. Both are persuasive communicators. And both have their eye on the prize…They want to climb the ladder and lead at the highest levels of the organization.
Why does one ASCEND and the other plateau or decline?
Why does one FULFILL their potential and experience MAXIMUM impact while the other endures an “if only” career being passed over for promotion time and time again?
All too often, early in life and early in our careers, we think it’s about smarts, education, talent, ability, drive, and work ethic. But EACH of the two people we’re talking about have all those things in spades. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be on upper management’s radar…people wouldn’t be taking notice.
So, what sets the ASCENDING LEADER apart from the one whose influence and prospects are diminishing?
Their ability and willingness to…
Accept the reality of…
Make peace with…
And maybe even…
Embrace…
3 TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE.
Specifically, three truths about life in middle management:
1. You aren’t the boss.
2. You don’t know everything.
3. You don’t always get what you deserve.
Every Executive-level Leader who’s reading this blog right now is nodding their head and remembering…
The countless talented people…
with seemingly limitless potential…
whose climb stalled prematurely…
because they fought against these realities.
So, if you’re an ASCENDING LEADER who dreams of one day being an established, respected leader whose peers and direct reports look to for advice and direction…if you don’t want a career filled with frustrating starts and stops…if you want to develop a stellar reputation that makes it easy for people to promote you to new heights and cheer you on as you go…
LIVE, WORK, ACT, and SPEAK as if these 3 things are true.
First, you are NOT the boss.
The mere fact that you are where you are tells me that you’ve been a leader your whole life. People listen to you. People are impressed by you. People follow you. And some of those people are probably saying things like…
“You should be in charge.”
“I can’t wait ‘til you’re the boss.”
“Your ideas are better than ___________.”
“You’re so much more strategic than ___________.”
“If only they’d turn the department over to you.”
And all of these things may be true. In fact, your boss may even believe these things are true. She might say it to you in a performance review, or he might admit it in a moment of vulnerability and self-reflection. But it doesn’t change the fact that…
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS.
And the way you respond to this makes all the difference.
If you choose to believe your own press clippings and start to think you should be in charge, you will inevitably become frustrated by how slowly things progress. You’ll find yourself dissatisfied with your current role. And before long that discontent will turn into uneasiness and displeasure. And that angst will begin to simmer and boil beneath the surface. You’ll find yourself in meetings thinking, “I’m smarter…better informed…more in tune with the needs of the organization…more aware of the customer’s needs,” and wondering why no one else can see it.
Or…
You can make peace with the reality that you’re not the boss (at this time) for a reason. You can choose to ENJOY this season with less pressure and less responsibility and TAKE ADVANTAGE of the freedom to make mistakes with less consequence. You can choose to humbly LEARN from both the good and the bad your boss does and says. You can allow yourself to be SHAPED by this season, learning how to foster better relationships and create healthier team dynamics.
Whichever way you respond, know this:
THE DECISION MAKERS ARE WATCHING.
They can see what motivates you, what frustrates you, and what you do with each. They can tell if you’re leading your team forward towards organizational objectives or if you’re sowing discord and causing people to doubt and distrust leadership. They know whether you’re fighting for them or against them.
And what they see will determine whether you ASCEND, plateau, or decline.
You will get invited into the inner circle.
You will get special opportunities.
You will get mentored.
And you will ASCEND
when upper management observes that…
YOU’VE MADE PEACE WITH
THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS.
Because this shows:
That you have character
That you’re not a threat
That you’re comfortable in your own skin
That you won’t stir discontent among the staff
And that you’re open to the second truth:
You don’t know everything.
There are two sides to this:
1. There’s a difference between being smart and being experienced.
2. There’s a difference between Area Knowledge and Organizational Knowledge.
SMART vs EXPERIENCED
I’ve been married for 24 years; so, it doesn’t matter if a newly married 22-year old is smarter or knows more facts or has read more books about marriage than me – I am infinitely more qualified to talk about what it means to be married, and people are far more likely to come to me for advice about marriage, simply because I’ve navigated its ups and downs for a quarter century.
Experience trumps smarts in life, marriage, and vocation.
Some young leaders are determined to prove how much they know, how thoroughly they’ve mastered the subject matter, how absolutely informed they are, thinking and hoping their knowledge will be seen as an indispensable asset to the organization.
But…
ASCENDING LEADERS want to know what they don’t know. Ascending leaders seek out someone who’s 5, 10, 15 years further down the road than them – or if they’re particularly astute, someone 25-30 years further along, and they quiz them about the ‘why’ and ‘how’ behind the ‘what.’ They seek out a mentor or a coach to help them understand the nuanced systems, processes, and relational dynamics that have emerged over time.
They regularly admit how much they don’t know, and that humility reveals how much they do know.
AREA KNOWLEDGE vs ORGANIZATIONAL KNOWLEDGE
Some young leaders enter the organization believing the best way to climb the ladder is to build a stellar, award-winning department. And to accomplish this, they:
Fight for their department’s needs (often at the expense of other departments)
Horde resources and lure top performers from other teams
Go after and crush their area goals without giving much thought to the larger, organizational goals.
These leaders often get accolades and bonuses, but this style of leadership has a low ceiling.
ASCENDING LEADERS:
Take a step back and consider how their area goals support and factor into the organization’s goal
Fight for their department’s needs, but are willing to negotiate or relent when another department’s needs, if unmet, may harm the company
Are great at building and resourcing a team, but they prioritize collaboration over winning.
Learn to do all of this by humbly and respectfully asking others, “What am I not seeing? How does my thinking need to shift to go from being an area leader to being an organizational leader?”
These leaders make a lasting impression on everyone around and above them.
These leaders are consistently given opportunity to ascend.
But sometimes things don’t go according to plan, and that’s when ASCENDING LEADERS make peace with the 3rd truth:
You don’t always get what you deserve.
Life isn’t always fair. Good work isn’t always rewarded. People sometimes get ahead through dishonest means. There’s corruption, inequity, bias, prejudice, discrimination, privilege, and sometimes there’s bad luck or dumb luck. Life isn’t always fair. Things don’t always go according to plan. You don’t always get what you deserve.
This is true for everyone. The question is: How will you respond?
Some leaders get angry or frustrated. Some begin to believe the world is against them or they’re cursed in some way. Some complain and grow bitter, and others throw their hands in the air and say, “If everybody else is playing by those rules, so will I.”
But ASCENDING LEADERS recognize that there are larger forces at play. They make peace with the fact that nobody catches all the breaks. No one’s life rolls along smoothly with no loss, no disappointment, no mystery. Ascending leaders embrace the fact that – because they don’t know everything and because they’re not the boss – it’s entirely possible that something bigger and better is going on behind the scenes.
I remember waking up one morning when I was climbing the ladder at UPS, picking out my tie, and thinking,
“Which tie looks like someone who just got promoted?”
We had been told on Friday that Monday morning a promotion was going to be announced, and everyone kept telling me that I was the one…I’d earned it…my time had come. And I believed them. I knew the work I’d put in. I knew the progress my team had made. I knew what upper management had been saying about me and the investment they were making in me. So, I had no doubt in my mind that I was the one being promoted.
Now, I just needed the right tie.
But as you might’ve guessed, I did NOT get promoted that day. Someone dishonest and disreputable got it…someone who cut corners, took advantage of others, and was widely known for their unethical behavior got MY promotion, MY pay raise, MY opportunity. I saw this as ME being passed over…ME getting the short end of the stick…ME being held back. In my mind, it was all about ME…that’s all I could see.
But our District Manager saw the big picture. He knew what was best for the District, the Division, the Package Center, and me. So, before I could storm out and make a fool of myself…before I could…
Tear off that perfect tie, throw it to the ground, and stomp on it…
He put his hand on my shoulder and guided me into his office where he told me my time would come.
What I didn’t know that day – what I didn’t find out for a few more months – was that he promoted that disreputable leader knowing their new role would put their unethical behavior on full display and allow the company to remove them with cause.
Another thing I didn’t know that day was that a manager two levels above mine was preparing to retire, and when he did, they promoted me into a job and level of responsibility that far exceeded…and that I enjoyed far more…than the job I was so excited about a few months earlier.
And there was one more thing I didn’t know that day…
I hated wearing ties!
You are NOT the boss.
You don’t know everything.
You don’t always get what you deserve.
These 3 truths are woven into the fabric of the universe of middle management. There’s nothing you can do to change them, but you do get to choose what you do with them.
Will you fight against these realities and find yourself at the end of your career wondering why you never achieved your full potential?
Or will you embrace these 3 TRUTHS, make peace with them, and lean into them in such a way that you become an ASCENDING LEADER who rises all the way to the top and maximizes your impact?
The choice is yours.
But you may not get a choice about the tie.
© 2021 Hayah Consulting LLC
