There was a season in my career when for 12 months I was mentored by the CEO of a $200 million/year company with more than 300 employees. 

 

We’ll call him John Smith, which, believe it or not, is NOT his real name. 

 

It would take far more time than I can dedicate here to explain how I entered John’s orbit and somehow became a blip on his radar, but the quick version is: A mutual friend was convinced the two of us would hit it off and that I was the kind of young, ascending leader who John would want to invest in; so, our friend invited us to attend a monthly breakfast he hosted. 

 

And, sure enough, we clicked…well, “clicked” is maybe a bit of an overstatement…but we “clicked” as well as two people separated by 3 decades, a $100,000,000 or so in personal assets, and 10 rungs on the proverbial ladder can click. 

 

And after 2 or 3 of these breakfasts, John invited me to a 1-on-1 lunch at an old school Vegas steakhouse.

 

When I arrived, the hostess (I’m sure there’s a much fancier name for her position in a restaurant like this) ushered me to a backroom where this titan of industry had his own private table and where my meal had already been ordered and prepared for me. 

 

Now, I’ve heard it said that the Oval Office is designed to be the ultimate homefield advantage, intimidating all who enter, and I’m sure that’s true; but I have a hard time believing that foreign dignitaries are any more unnerved to be seated across from the President than I was as I stared at more silverware than my family owned, trying to figure out which fork was for my steak.

 

John immediately got down to business.  “Jay,” he said, “Each year I select one young leader to invest in, and this year I’ve chosen you.”

 

I was shocked…humbled…overwhelmed…elated…petrified…all the things. 

 

But before I could respond with even a “Thank You,” he continued…

 

“Here’s how it will work.  We’ll meet once a month for 12 months.  My assistant will call you the week before with a day, time, and location.  You will be there.  My time is valuable; so, if you can’t make it, there will be no rescheduling.  We will have exactly one hour, and in that hour – unless I ask you a question – I will do all the talking.  I have a set of leadership tools and competencies I want to pass on; THAT will be the content of our meetings.”

 

He was that abrupt…that direct and no nonsense,

and I was deeply honored to have been selected;

so, without giving it any thought,

I jumped at the chance to learn from this man.

 

Now, here’s where I have to be super careful in how I describe the next 12 months.

 

Years later, I’m still genuinely grateful for the lessons John taught me.  The things he shared with me about strategic planning, systems and processes, policy and procedures, P&L, HR, and so many other things have served me extremely well, and I occasionally find myself retelling his stories and repeating his lectures. 

 

He was very generous to invest 12 hours in me. 

He didn’t have to do that. 

He could have chosen someone else.

I’m fully aware of these things. 

 

So, please, don’t read what comes next as ingratitude.  Read it as commentary on the difference between imparting knowledge and developing leaders.

 

You see;

John taught me all sorts of things about business,

but he taught me almost nothing about being a leader

…at least not directly or positively. 

 

John was still “leading” from a 1970’s and 1980’s white, male-dominated, capitalist, money-first set of corporate “values” where it was okay to be a jerk and demand things of people and expect anyone “on the rise” to sacrifice family and personal health for organizational objectives. 

 

In his world, that was okay and expected

as long as you got stuff done

and shareholders were happy.

 

THAT’S NOT OKAY IN TODAY’S WORLD.

AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY!

 

And the mere fact that you’re reading a blog about

DEVELOPING ASCENDING LEADERS

tells me that you’re not looking

for a team to boss around;

you’re looking for…

ways to inspire…

ways to motivate…

ways to encourage…

ways to free your team

to realize their potential

and make their mark on the world.

 

So, although the lessons I learned in those 12 months will undoubtedly come up in future blog posts, in the space remaining here, I want to share 3 quick MUST DO’S for developing today’s ascending leaders, and they’re the exact opposite of what John did with me.

 

First, to develop up-and-coming leaders,

ESTABLISHED LEADERS

must display humble, shameless

AUTHENTICITY

in regard to their own

failures, weaknesses, and shortcomings

 – and not just the ones from 15 years ago!

 

John, like so many established leaders, constantly presented himself as the hero of all his own stories.  He thought that presenting himself as the mighty conqueror would be inspiring and motivating, but it often had the opposite effect.  I knew how broken I was.  I knew what I struggled with.  So, hearing stories of a man who never struggled…who always came out on top…made his lofty heights unattainable to me.

 

And on the rare occasion he did admit some fault or imperfection, it was always a story from a decade or more ago – something at a safe distance…something removed…something he’d long since conquered.

 

Like I said, John’s not alone in this.

This is a struggle for most established leaders.

I don’t know about you, but I have DEFINITELY fallen prey to this.

I have often (read “always”) wanted to be seen as capable, competent, and without fear.

And that has proven entirely unhelpful to the ascending leaders around me. 

I’m guessing you and the leaders in your network have experienced the same.

 

Young leaders don’t need superhero role models and mentors;

they need women and men who are

strong enough…

secure enough…

real enough…

to admit they’re…

more than a little broken, but striving to get better…

more than a little confused, but seeking wise counsel to gain clarity…

in need of more than a little help, but wholly willing to ask for it.

 

We all learn more from failure and adversity than we do from success and good fortune. 

 

So, why would we withhold those valuable gems and hard-earned life lessons from those we want to develop…those we want to pass the baton to…those who are going to be responsible for our company’s viability and stock price in our retirement years?

 

Be authentic about your struggles today so you can retire with confidence tomorrow. 

 

Admit your shortcomings; acknowledge the lessons you’re currently learning; invite your mentees into the brainstorming around how to overcome your obstacles; ask for their advice; and you will not only engender loyalty from your authenticity, you’ll also take a giant step towards the second thing established leaders must do to develop today’s ascending leaders:

 

Show

APPRECIATION

for their contribution.

 

As I said, John made it clear before we ever started meeting that this would be a 1-way street with him playing resident sage dispensing timeless nuggets of business acumen and me absorbing them…receiving them as unquestionable facts about the world of business.

 

And I’ll be the first to admit that not only did John know volumes more about these things than I did, but he was also clear about the ground rules going in.  There was zero ambiguity about his intentions or expectations.  If I wanted a 2-way conversation or an equitable sharing of ideas, I was barking up the wrong tree.

 

So, kudos to him for the clarity.

But looking back and knowing what I know today…

Shame on him for the arrogance…

the hubris…

the pride and superiority…

Of anyone who thinks he’s so far beyond another human…

that there’s nothing he can learn from them.

No new thought they could spark…

No new perspective they could articulate…

No new question that could turn the system on its head…

No new insight that would revolutionize the industry.

 

I can’t tell you how many times through the years

I’ve sat with an ascending leader or an emerging leader

– an intern, a student, a key volunteer –

and heard an outlandish idea,

completely unfettered by the chains of experience

that, in the moment, I could give 1,000 reasons why it wouldn’t work,

but by the time we were done

a goofy grin was plastered across my face

because out of nowhere and against all odds

that idea became the “silver bullet” solving all our problems.

 

Experience is great. It often brings wisdom, understanding, patience, and institutional or situational knowledge that’s invaluable. 

 

However, there’s something very freeing about not knowing all the reasons something “won’t” or “can’t” work.  No idea is off the table in that scenario.  The sky’s the limit.  Anything is possible.  And at the very least, whole new worlds of conversation explode into existence when someone dares ask, “Why?”  Or better yet, “Why not?”

 

And let’s be honest, ascending leaders are far more likely to ask the “why not” question than established leaders are.  So, for that reason alone, you need to appreciate their contribution.

 

But this line of reasoning almost assumes that their only value is their ignorance,

when in reality this generation of leaders…

is much better informed…

their access to and ability to retrieve data is light years ahead of…

and in many cases their willingness to think outside the box eclipses…

who and where we were at the same stage of life and career.

 

So why wouldn’t we pursue their input?  Why wouldn’t we ask them to listen to what we’re thinking and poke holes in it?  Why wouldn’t we invite them behind the curtain and hear how and why they’d rearrange the furniture if we’d only let them?  What do we have to lose by showing them how much we appreciate all they bring to the table?

 

The answer is NOTHING.

 

Now, ask how much we have to lose by not valuing and appreciating them, and the answer is…

 

NEARLY EVERYTHING.

 

At the very least, by diminishing their contribution we lose their energy, their confidence, and their loyalty.  We will (very likely) lose a team member or two.  We’ll lose our ability to influence the kind of leaders they become, or worse yet we’ll turn them into insecure, arrogant leaders like us and lose the future.

 

Just now – for the 3rd time as I’m writing this section – I lost myself for a minute daydreaming with a smile on my face, thinking back on all the amazing young leaders who’ve made me a better manager, better leader, better human just by daring to throw hierarchy and hegemony to the wind and pushing back or asking “why” or saying, “I’ve got a crazy idea.”

 

So, I’m realizing I need to write some “Thank You” notes.  I need to show them how much I appreciate their contribution.  Better yet, I need to take a couple of them out to lunch and tell them face-to-face what a difference they’ve made.

 

And unexpectedly and contrary to the outline I scratched out, that brings me to the last thing established leaders must do as we seek to develop the ascending leaders around us…

 

We need to give them uncommon,

only mildly-restricted

ACCESS

To our lives.

 

I feel like a few established leaders reading this blog just said, “What the what?!?” and then banned their employees from ever reading my blog again. 

 

That’s what John would’ve said and what he would’ve tried. 

 

After all, he was of the opinion that leadership boils down to a set of known, plug-and-play facts that could be handed down in 12 hours over 12 months.

 

And again, I don’t want to be cynical, jaded, or ungrateful.  But the simple fact is I learned (and will continue to learn) a great deal more about leadership from far less accomplished women and men than I ever did from John, because they’ve allowed me access to their lives…their thinking…their quandaries.  They’ve told me I can come to them when I have issues, difficulties, and problems.  They’ve allowed me to sit in rooms and listen to conversations way above my pay grade and then quizzed me afterwards about what I learned and what I thought.  They’ve taken me out to casual lunches and impromptu coffees just to ask questions about my life, my family, my passions, and my dreams.  They’ve taught me that leadership is about presence, intentionality, and genuine care and concern.

 

All too often, organizations, churches, managers, and supervisors want to talk about their “culture of leadership development,” and what they mean by that is…

•  their monthly one-to-one’s that actually happen a good bit less than once a month

• their annual staff retreat

• their professional development fund

• the books they hand out or the podcasts they recommend

• maybe even an occasional, top notch training or seminar

 

But most of that is about conveying knowledge, not developing next-level leaders.

 

Developing leaders takes time.

It takes proximity.

It requires conversation.

It necessitates an open door.

It means special treatment.

DEVELOPING ASCENDING LEADERS

requires…

demands…

calls for…

compels…

(pick the strongest word you can find)

DEVELOPING ASCENDING LEADERS

must involve an uncommonly high degree of

access.

 

Think about the leaders who’ve had the greatest impact on you. 

They gave you access.

Think about the leaders who invested in you. 

They gave you special treatment.

Think about the leaders who’ve shaped your thinking. 

You heard theirs in unguarded moments.

I can go on, but you get the idea.

 

Developing the next generation of great leaders requires a measure of sacrifice on the part of this generation of leaders.

 

And this is why so few people in leadership positions are known for being great developers of people, and even less are known for helping high capacity, high ceiling young leaders fulfill their potential.

 

And this is why the best and brightest young leaders in your organization are jumping ship and going elsewhere…they’re looking for someone to literally pour themselves into them…they’re looking for someone to help them think beyond what it means to be great at work to what it means to be great at life.

 

And for this reason,

those who are still with me…

still reading this blog…

still wanting to develop the incredible talent around you

need to right-size your own expectations

about how many leaders you can develop

at any one time.

 

You have to protect your life…your family.  You have to maintain your rhythm…your balance.  You have to work your replenishment cycle.  And you have to do your job.

 

So, my encouragement to you is pick 1, maybe 2,

ascending leaders who you truly believe in

and enjoy spending time with

and pour into them –

be AUTHENTIC,

show your APPRECIATION for their ideas,

and give them uncommon ACCESS –

for a year at a time

under 1 condition…

 

THEY HAVE TO COMMIT TO DOING THE SAME FOR AN EMERGING LEADER WHO’S A STEP OR TWO BEHIND THEM ON THE JOURNEY TO EPIC LEADERSHIP.

 

This, and only this, will develop the next generation of next-level leaders.

 

B E   A U T H E N T I C .

 

S H O W   Y O U R   A P P R E C I A T I O N .

 

O F F E R   U N I Q U E   A C C E S S .

 

These are the things established leaders must do.