Live Like Someone Left The Gate Open
Early in our marriage, my wife and I lived in Upstate NY, and our home sat at the base of a beautiful rolling hill. Our actual lot was small to moderate in size, but it backed up to acres and acres of what was once a large dairy farm with several hundred head of cattle.
By the time we moved in, the dairy farm and all its smells were long gone, and we were left with a wonderfully bucolic view of tall green grass, wistful wildflowers, and large, leafy trees for as far as the eye could see…and to complete the scene, a small babbling brook followed the tree line all the way down the hill until it took a gentle turn to the right immediately behind our home.
That was what we saw when we looked out our back windows.
What we saw when we looked out our front windows was drastically different.
There we saw a fairly busy 2-lane highway, a very large parking lot, and a medium-sized church painted the ugliest shade of red you can imagine. And because the church was active, busy, and (to their credit) growing, the parking lot was constantly filled with cars, and when those cars would leave the church, half of them would have a direct sightline into our backyard.
So, one of the first things we did upon moving in was put up a 6-foot tall, privacy fence. But because we didn’t want to lose out on the incredible view of that amazing hill, we only put the privacy fence on three sides. In the back, was a 3-foot tall, chicken-wire fence attached to 4x4 posts every 8 feet.
That way when the weather was nice we could sit at the picnic table in our backyard eating dinner while watching deer bound across the open field and listening to wild turkeys gobble.
It was idyllic.
More on that in a minute.
During that same season of life,
we had a small dog
aptly named Tiny.
Tiny was a very sweet dog
who brought lots and lots of joy
to our lives,
but if I’m being honest,
I’d have to admit
that she was not
the smartest dog
on the planet.
We would often take her for long, off-leash walks through the countryside. And even though she was free to run and play and explore, Tiny would always stay right beside us, never getting too far ahead or too far behind. And when we would near the highway or some other place where her safety might be in question, we would say to our off-leash dog who was currently propelling herself forward by putting one paw in front of the other…
“Wanna go for a walk?”
And she would excitedly
and enthusiastically
with tail wagging
and tongue hanging out
stand still
while we clicked her leash
to her collar.
See what I mean
about her not being
super smart?
She was already on a walk…
arguably a far better kind of walk…
the kind of walk where she could go anywhere she wanted
completely unencumbered by a leash…
but
she
didn’t
know
she
was
free
Now back to our little backyard and its picturesque view.
That’s where Tiny spent most of her days.
In our backyard.
Staring through chicken wire.
Able to see a bigger world.
But totally fenced in.
Until one day…
One day…
Someone came
to drop something
off at the house,
but we weren’t
going to be home
so, I told them to
open the gate
and leave it in the
backyard.
Well,
they did just that,
but when they left,
they forgot to close
the latch on the gate.
THEY LEFT THE GATE OPEN.
The next morning we did what we always did:
We let Tiny out to potty and play in the backyard.
And then, for whatever reason, a few minutes later
We looked out our dining room window
And instead of seeing Tiny laying in the grass
Staring at the pastureland
Gazing into the big world beyond the fence
We saw her blazing a trail through the tall grass
Bounding across the pastureland
Zigging this way…
Zagging that way…
And carelessly throwing herself
into piles of deer droppings
and rolling around on her back
with her feet in the air
until she was completely covered
and smelling
au naturale!
For the first time ever,
She was truly and fully
Experiencing the big world
Beyond the fence!
And
She
Loved
It!
Needing to get to work
I headed out into the field
And tried what had always
Worked before.
I called out to her,
“Wanna go for a walk?”
But instead of coming to me
And letting me attach her leash
And walk her back inside the fence
She ran
straight
at me
then
straight
past me.
This was a game for her now.
She was having fun.
She was fully alive.
She was being the dog she was designed to be!
And now, the only way for me to get her to come to me
Was for me to go to her…
The only way she’d entertain the thought of doing what I wanted
Was if I first entertained her by doing what she wanted.
So, there I was
Dressed for work
Running around like a crazy man
Chasing my dog up the hill
And back down the hill.
Until eventually she let me catch her
And carry her back to the house
Where she heard the click of the gate
Being latched behind us
Fencing her in once again.
But she had experienced life.
She now knew what it meant be wide open and free.
She would never be able to settle for a sedentary, less-than life again.
So, by the time we got home from work that day.
She had already dug a tunnel
Under the gate.
And for the next several weeks
we played a new game
where I would refill
the dirt each day
and she
would wait
for me to leave
and then dig her way
back out to freedom and a
world filled with wonder and awe.
I eventually outsmarted her and found a way to keep her inside the fence. But I had seen her experience more life than ever before; so occasionally…just for kicks…I’d “accidentally” leave the gate open and then watch out the back window from the dining room table as she snuck out the gate into her best life!
I also learned a valuable lesson personally during that season.
I learned that I needed to start living like someone left the gate open.
I realized my life wasn’t small. I was just living it in a small way.
I realized I could live a safe, cooped up, fenced in life.
Or…
I could live the
wide open,
expansive,
bigger,
better,
more impactful,
more influential life
I was wired and designed to live.
And it was obvious to me then
And undeniable to me now
That living the life you were meant to live
Is the quickest, surest way to experience
Satisfaction,
Contentment,
And joy.
But don’t take my word for it.
Try it for yourself.
