Fix You

by Cerigwyn Parsons

About 17 years ago, I worked for a charter school that had an annual fundraising event…and it raised millions (yep, millions) of dollars every year for the children’s foundation that sponsored the school.  

One of those years, a segment of the gala included a video of the students set to Coldplay’s song “Fix You.”  

The video was filled with shots of

classrooms,

students,

laughter,

uniformed children reciting “The Code of Respect,”

athletes sprinting around a track –

all the “right” inspirational shots.

To close out the video, one of the kindergarten students and I walked down the path to the school together holding hands, arms swinging, while the camera zoomed in on our hands.  One white hand and one brown hand - while the lyric “And I will try to fix you” played.  

The first time I saw the video, I was sitting in the MGM Grand Garden Arena watching the gala from afar with my husband. And when that shot came on, I literally exclaimed to everyone sitting with us in the nose bleeds – THAT’S MY HAND!  Jay laughed with his “that’s my wife” smile, and everyone else looked around wondering who the freak with the big hand was.

Today, when I hear “Fix You,” you’ll likely see me cringe.

I love the song, but I despise the sentiment behind how it was used on that day. 

“Look at this nice white lady – she’s here to fix you.” 

The image was meant to inspire generosity in the hearts of the people seated at the tables on the arena’s main floor – and it did. 

What it didn’t do

was accurately display

who was being fixed.

It was me.  

It’s been almost 20 years since that little hand held mine,

and in that time, many other hands have guided me in the right direction on a path…

towards justice, 

towards truth, 

towards equity. 

They’ve shared their experiences with 

racism, 

white saviorism, 

colorism, 

bigotry, 

hatred, 

grief. 

They’ve invited me into moments of 

joy, 

celebration, 

reconciliation, 

deep, deep laughter, 

truth.  

I’ve thought about the concepts of reshaping and growth a lot during National Mentoring Month, as I felt unqualified to write or even share my story. I’ve been challenged to think about how my life and beliefs, my heart and habits have been reshaped by those guiding hands – those women and men, young and old who came alongside me and spoke truth and shared their stories.   

Many don’t know I’d call them “mentor” today and none were ever my “mentees.” 

But isn’t that the way it is? 

If we’re willing to open our hearts and lives

to new communities, new experiences, new people –

we will be shaped because the work that needs to be done inside of us cannot be completed alone.  

Your story will be different than mine –

the shaping and reshaping that comes from opening yourself up

to be a mentor or be mentored

will reshape a different part of you than it did in me –

but hopefully, in the end, you’ll be able to look back too and see

that the person who was “fixed” was actually you.